15th Med Anecdotes

[Barry Calhoun]

Greetings All!

I'm starting another discussion topic: 15th Med Anecdotes. This is for all the funny, naughty, interesting, or touching stories that happened during your tour at 15th Med. You can change the names to protect the innocent if you want, but be aware that all statutes of limitations have long since expired, so it's no longer necessary to hold back! I'll start with a story from back in '84 at Hohenfels......

So, if you want to start a new story, just reply to this message. If you want to comment about others' stories, reply to theirs!

Barry

[Barry Calhoun]

Where: Hohenfels
When: Circa ’84-‘85
Who: Capt Jim Adams, WO1 Barry Calhoun (author), SP4 Jeff Gower, SP4 Matt Chronister

Jim, Jeff, Matt and I were just starting a 2-week Hohenfels deployment. The morning after our arrival we decided to get some breakfast on base. Jim Adams, ever the prankster, decided it would be great fun for him and Matt Chronister, (who in spite of his rank was in his 30’s) to switch hats, rank, and flight suit name tags. Matt was a bit apprehensive, but figured if Capt Adams was willing to be a Spec-4, why not?
So, the four of us moseyed over to the dining facility with Capt Adams pointedly referring to Chronister as “Capt. Adams” and “Sir” to get him used to the idea. Matt was a bit abashed by the whole thing, but continued to go along. We went through the chow line and found a booth. It was then that we noticed two Air Force enlisted guys sitting in a table near ours. They were the weather guessers who worked at the airport. We started some small talk, then out of the blue Adams says, “Hey, we’re taking a training flight this afternoon. Do you guys want to come along?” They were both very excited about the idea, then Jim, remembering his role said, “Well, we’ll have to ask the pilot-in-command if it’s okay. I’m just the crew chief.” He turns to Matt and says, “Sir, is it okay if we take them up with us this afternoon?” Matt looks very uncomfortable and uncertain, but eventually blurts out, “Yes.” So, we arrange the meeting time at the airport, and the Air Force guys depart. Jim Adams turns to us and says, “Okay, here’s the plan.”
So, for the next 15 minutes or so we come up with a plan to really screw with these guys. Jim is going to continue to be the crew chief, but with a twist: he’s applied to flight school and Matt Chronister (the “pilot-in-command”) has agreed to give him some stick-time to give him a “leg-up” on flight school, with me up front keeping things safe. Matt (posing as Capt. Adams) and Jeff will be in the back, and have been pre-briefed on when to assume the crash position, etc.
We get to the airport at the designated time, and shut down to brief our soon-to-be-terrorized passengers. Of course, Adams and Chronister are still wearing each other’s rank and name tags. The Air Force guys receive a passenger briefing (including the importance of the crash position) then listen to me give our crew chief (Adams) a very careful briefing about when to relinquish the controls, keeping hands off buttons, etc., and we remind everybody not to let it be known that we’re letting the crew chief fly because it’s not really allowed. With that, Jeff and Matt seat the passengers in the back of the Huey and climb in after them.
Matt (Jim Adams) and I crank up the helicopter, I bring it to a hover over the compass rose at the end of the runway, and invite "Matt" to take over control of the cyclic only (a la flight school). He does okay for a bit, then starts to get shaky. I take the controls again, settle things down, and give him the collective. Up and down we go until I steady us out again. Then I give him the pedals—same thing. Then two sets of controls, and finally three at once. For a few seconds, Adams holds it pretty steady, then slowly but increasingly begins to “lose control” of the helicopter. We’re gyrating, spinning, sliding, pumping up and down crazily in about a 200’ radius area of the airport (fortunately, we were the only aircraft there), but I refuse to take the controls this time, insisting that “Matt” not give up but stay with it (in spite of his pleas to relinquish the controls.) Finally, when I truly couldn’t take it anymore, I took over the controls, stabilized the helicopter on the runway, and told “Matt” that he was doing great, that hovering was very difficult, etc.
I suggested that we try some straight-and-level flight and asks if he would like to try the takeoff. He says yes, I pass the controls to him and talk him through a normal takeoff. About halfway down the runway was the control tower. He begins a takeoff that starts shakily and deteriorates from there. He’s zigging and zagging down the runway while I’m trying to offer corrective advice (but refusing to take the controls). One of his zigs heads him straight for the control tower at about cab-height. I tell him to watch out for the control tower……watch out for the control tower…….WATCH OUT FOR THE CONTROL TOWER!!!!!! as we pass within a rotor disk from the cab windows. Now I can’t remember if the control tower was manned during this episode or not. But I do remember being glad that I was just a young, green innocent Wobbly-One who probably wouldn’t get hammered too badly about this whole thing since I had an O-3 as the PIC. And anyway, I was trying so hard not to laugh that I could barely talk.
We made it (barely) past the control tower and continued to lumber into the sky. We flew around for awhile, me teaching “Matt” various things about flying a helicopter, with Jim always half out of control. Then it was time for the earlier, secretly-briefed coup de grace. We got up to a bit of altitude and Jim started asking me what some of the switches were in the cockpit. We went over a few of them, and then I said something like, “Whatever you do, don’t ever touch the fuel control switch.” He says, “Which one is that?” and I say, “The bright red one” and he says, “This one?” as I say, “NO, DON’T!” Immediately Jim throws the collective down while I scream “You idiot, you just shut down the engine!” We’re dropping out of the sky like a rock with “Matt” screaming to pass me the controls, but I say, “No, hold on to them, I’ve got to try to restart the engine!” I make like I’m throwing a bunch of switches while “Matt” is screaming that he doesn’t know what to do. Meanwhile, the real Matt and Jeff have assumed crash positions in the back. Right at about 100 feet above the ground, I make like I finally got the engine restarted, take the controls, and swoop it out just above the tree tops. I climb back up to altitude, but everything is very quiet in the helicopter. I finally said, “Now do you see why you never touch that switch!” A chagrined “Matt” apologizes. I say that I think it’s time to go back, and everyone agrees. However, in spite of pleas from the back seaters, I force “Matt” to take back the controls, emphasizing how important it is to “get back on the horse.” As Adams makes his semi-controlled approach to a landing, one of the Air Force guys pukes. We flop back to a crazy landing at the airport and shutdown for fuel.
The Air Force guys climbed out of the back of the helicopter, one of them holding a full barf-bag. It was then that we finally spilled the beans while Adams and Chronister traded their rank and name tags back. It turns out that during the ride only one of our passengers had a headset on, and he was the one who puked. He said that he didn't get airsick; he just "started thinking about his own mortality" and that is what caused him to be sick. Even more amazing, the Air Force guy who was not connected told us he thought our flight was normal! He must have flown with Army Aviators before! ;-)

[Eric Kuhn]

Well, I was 2 months away from turning 18 when I got to Graf, and had never been near a helicopter before. I was there about 3 days when Paul Zima decited I should go flying, So off to the air field I went. I rode with Dave Strosnider, who was another medic and had been there for awile. Bill Heaton was the pic and I dont remember who the crew chief or pilot were. Dave explained to me how to untie the blades and pull them out to the side, saying "never turn them that way, always this way, or they will unscrew from the mast." I didnt know any better and thought, thats kinda a crappy design. then came cranking the thing up. Dave got the fire extinguisher and walked me to the engine. He said "hold doun this flap and look in there for a fire when they start the engine." I thought well, thats just stupid, If the damn things going to blow up, why the hell do I want my face right there.... they cranked and I was led to the hell hole and strapped in, the door was shut and without intercom, there I sat. everyone up front was busy doing whatever they do and I was trying to look around the litters to see what was going on. I remember thinking, If this thing crashes, this is really going to suck being stuck here. we came up to a hover and I thought, hey this is kinda cool, and we were off. well, we made a big circle, and about the time we got almost over the runway, we were falling like a rock, (didnt know what an autorotation was, it was my first time on a helicopter) down we went, then wham.... skidded a bit.. back to a hover and off again. We did this 4 or 5 times, then hovered back to our area, and they shut it down. Dave opened the door and let me out. I resisted the urge to kiss the ground, and suddenly they were all standing by me. Dave said "well, what do you think?" I said, this is cool, but these things land kinda fast, huh? Mr Heaton shook his head and kinda laughed a little, and said " he'll do fine" and walked off. The crew chief then sent me to the hanger for a bucket of rotor wash to clean the blades....(bastard!) and so went my first helicopter flight.

[Barry Calhoun]

Very funny!

[Julie Adams-Van Horn]

So here goes...back 82 when I arrived at Graf I was the only female soldier in our unit and living in the barracks. So many funny things happened....The second night I was there SSG Woods, Theodore informedme that I was invited to the barracks g.i.party. I was all excited! A party! For GI's! I asked what I should bring and I should have known by that big cheesy SSG Woods grin.... Out to the shoppette I ran. I bought chips and soda and cookies for the GI Party. When I arrived at the appointed time in jeans and pink blouse, hair all curled up and makeup on....goodies in hand I was sure surprised to be told to grab a mop and GI (clean) the barracks! SSG Woods ate my cookies:(
We were all on seperate rats due to our mission. We were provided a stove and oven in the laundry room. How many fires we had to put out because one of our partying troops would come home, get the munchies and start cooking.....and then fall asleep! I have pried more burnt pizza rolls and frenchfries off the bottom of that oven! We never squealed. There were times when we would sit around and figure out what we were all hungry for and we would walk to the commisary and buy our groceries. The fellas always wanted real mashed potatos so I would peel, chop and boil them, and then Lowe, or Hottin, or Suroweic would take turns mashing them. Our potato masher was the best. A baseball bat with aluminium foil on the end. Best mashed potatos I have ever had!

[Barry Calhoun]

Julie, thanks for the amusing story! Just picturing you mashing potatoes with a baseball bat is priceless!

[mark holmes surowiec]

I had the biggest bat didnt i muffy. Bet you aint been called that in a looong time. Sounds like you and skippy got the big d. so did my wife beth and i get in touch. Heres a memory of don cicuzza. We had a night operation field op where old jimmy shafer and crew set up a bunch of trails to follow by compass/azmths i thought it ended up they never shot back az for the trails and every body got lost. anyway i remember mr c smokin his pipe tellin us "I was countin the paces" it might be a little diff than this but i remember his words to this day more to come

[Jeff Gower]

Holmes,
Ha! I was just thinking about the same event the other day. It happened right when I got to the unit. It was reverse cycle training. I remember going out to do the night land nav. We did it in groups. I don't think the problem was the course. Murphy O'Brien Billings (!) was in my group. Every time we would find a point he would grab the chemlight and throw it off into the woods. Since I was only in the unit a few days I kept my mouth shut and wondered what I had gotten myself into. I do remember Mr Cicuzza coming back to the white house and insisting he wasn't lost because he had been "counting the paces"!!!

Mr Cicuzza was the first pilot I flew with. Still have the form from the log book somewhere. His passing is a shame. I thought he was a good guy.

[mark holmes surowiec]

hohenfels also maybe capt adams cant remember the other pilot med was rosario i think. Upon arrival looked like somebody was sleeping in my bed we backed out asked around. Nobody knew nothin. It ended up being a blowup doll.It was capt adams. we ende up dressing her up in a flight suit and taking her into the nco club. people were lafin thier butts off. We even had guys offer to buy ethel a drink. I think rosie named her. did anybody ever go after the bell in the church tower , i think it was in a range that was usually hot

[Barry Calhoun]

Holmes, the other pilot was me. Wasn't that also the trip that we were being relieved by that female pilot from Landstuhl (the one who couldn't fly), and Adams left two cucumbers in her bed on the way out!? :-)